Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
BRING THE BAGELS
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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