I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
