Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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