Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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