I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize