I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
