she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
