Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
