just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
