i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That accounts for only three of the penises
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
