CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
