A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize