I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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