it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
