BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
