Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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