Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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