where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
