Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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