NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
