Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
high people should be assigned attendants
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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