Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
