I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
