Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
how does that bad decision feel?
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