In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
