dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize