And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
