I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize