I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
