But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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