dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
