Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
