my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She even gives head with a lisp.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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