He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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