I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
