Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
