Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
