You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
