guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
