hotel room ftw
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
