just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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