Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize