i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
