Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
