I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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