And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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