It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
