I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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