i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
