You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
