And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize