Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
