Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize