We won't sleep together?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
