Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
