mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
