well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
