Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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