In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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