Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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