well you can't waste a boner
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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