The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she pinky promised me she was 18
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
