don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize