best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
