I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
This house was built for laser tag.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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